“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” –  Ralph Waldo Emmerson

On my journey through retirement, I have found myself confronting fear. I originally started writing about things that cause me to be fearful when it dawned on me that it should be about how I allow fearful things to live within me.

Oxford Dictionary definition: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.

 I remember my Grandma Jessie never buying anything new because she didn’t know how much longer she would live. She lived into her 90s, hauling this threat of death with her until the very end. Fear was governing her decisions, fear was stopping her from potential enjoyment, and fear was her constant companion. One of my fears is people’s adverse reactions or criticism towards things I try or say. Fear makes me tailor messaging, fear keeps me silent, and fear is my companion, too. Even though Grandma and I suffered from different fears, they both resulted in disabling us from living and enjoying life to its fullest.

I have learned that I do not need to mentally understand why fear lives within me, as it could be from many different events and people. I need to acknowledge the existence of fear and its mental and physiological traits. When I sense this and can let the storyline go, I can feel an emergence of peace and freedom—a sense of lightness.

Everyone has candle snuffers in their midst. These armchair critics would rather see your sparkle doused with water than enhanced with love. I think it’s time to thank them, for they have allowed me to see an opportunity to grow out of fear. I also think it’s time to feel compassion for them because every snuffer has been snuffed themselves!

My retirement will see me learning to live fearlessly, allowing old scars to heal and new adventures to begin. I am not quite sure what this means, but I feel like it could be the awakening of something extraordinary!

I shall wish my snuffers well and welcome the release of my definition from their grasp.

Here’s to 30 more years!