“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

A couple of weeks ago, I had one of my off days. I mark these days in my gratitude journal with a little x to track their frequency. It happens every 7 to 10 days and usually coincides with poor sleep.

I had been to my best friend’s cottage for a few days, and even though my time was lovely, my sleep was not. Our relationship has lasted for more than 45 years. How do you judge the depth of our comfort? I was in the garage putting together her new BBQ when I received a text that she had gone for a nap and should let her know if I needed any help. That is comfort. I consider myself lucky.  The lack of sleep didn’t catch up with me until I returned home. The drive was peaceful; my parents used to have a cottage in the area, so the scenery was familiar but had changed. I find it so interesting how Mother Nature takes back our abandoned buildings. She sits there quietly, waiting until our interest has waned, and then, poof, a forest appears. Quite remarkable.

Even though the drive was excellent, I felt a lingering black cloud floating above my head. A familiar friend that makes everything a little grayer, which annoys me because I know that every moment creates the next, so I am the reason for the grayness perpetuating. I once saw this guy speak about how we treat ourselves in these moments. We can be so unkind; if what I was saying to myself was being said to me by someone else, I would charge the person with abuse. I ask, who needs enemies when I’m capable of causing my own harm? His solution was straightforward. Just be sweet to yourself. If you need to spend the day on the couch, do it without a corresponding dialogue about how lazy you are. If you need to cry, give yourself a hug and cry. Have a bath, take yourself to dinner or a movie, and treat yourself with love.  Send your best friend a text to advise them that you are a little down and taking a nap, and you will let them know if you need their help.  

Retirement will see me being sweeter to myself. Self-abuse is a definite mind-body phenomenon as our peaceful spirits watch on in the hope that we will remember they are there quietly waiting for us to return.