“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.” – Jackie Chan

One day, I sent a text to a previous neighbour to see how they were doing. The response started with, “Thanks for seeing me.” I found this interesting and started to think about how important it is for all living creatures to feel seen, if not by others, then by themselves.

Now a little boy lives in my old neighbour’s house. He just turned 7, and you’d swear he was an adult in a little body, like the Archie comics when they came out with their child version of the series. He likes to chat and goes out of his way to catch my attention and engage in conversation. Sometimes, he perches on a stump while I mow the lawn or peers through the slatted fence, awaiting eye contact. He says things like, “Oh Jill, I didn’t know you were out here; want to chat?” or when I’m going inside for the day, “Let’s catch up tomorrow, Jill.”

I don’t know how enamored his parents are with this activity. In fact, I think they go out of their way to discourage it even though I have clarified that I welcome his discussions and consider it important for him to get positive attention from adults. This is just my unproven assumption, but my inside voice also says it’s important for him to feel seen.

My dad was a minister who dedicated much of his time to the church. We had an opportunity to talk later in life, and I learned that his father, also a minister, led the same lifestyle. My mom, on the other hand, was in charge of raising the six of us and performing the duties of the minister’s wife. Both were beautiful souls, but a lot was going on, so feeling lost in the crowd was easy.

In retrospect, I can see that much of my mental energy went into trying to be seen and noticed in the crowd of life. Whether I was the best worker, partier, aunt, or friend, the desired outcome was the same. I needed to be seen. Through much reflection, I now realize that what I searched for was always within me. I needn’t look elsewhere to feel the love I desire.  I also learned that when you feel your own love, it makes giving it so much easier.

Not everyone is made to look within during this lifetime, so in retirement, I will make more of an effort to be as present as possible in their company, hopefully helping them to feel seen. As for the little boy next door? I look forward to hearing “Hey Jill” and engaging in our little chats.