“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.” – Maya Angelou.

Have you ever noticed how often you complain about something verbally or mentally?  I’ve spent the last while monitoring my complaint processes and have determined that it happens too frequently! Some things are small, others more significant, and the common denominator is that my mind creates them.  The funny thing about complaints is that they are always external to me. Someone else, something else. This must make one pause to ask, am I causing my suffering?

A Course in Miracles (ACIM) challenges us to become aware of how much our grievances play a part in our daily lives. They equate it to living within a dark cloud, light being on the other side, but we cannot reach it because we are too deep in the illusory abyss. This darkness is not selective and pervades all interactions. The idea is to learn to look past or through this dark cloud and base our reality on the light instead. In essence, drop the grievances and see what it’s like to live life without complaints—choosing to accept or act from a place of peace and escaping the emotional and mental suffering.

I have found it fascinating to watch my mind make up scenarios. Such drama! What a person would say (mean) and how I would react (clever). What a person would do (unkind), and how I would respond (defensively). These conversations and events are entirely fabricated, and I am still letting them cause me pain! Grievances perpetuate the absence of light. How can this not impact my quality of life? I might even tell myself I have good reason to complain, but I don’t. It has never proven to help; it just spreads the darkness.

I have started to learn a new way of approaching this grievance monster. When I catch it happening, I internally ask myself to search past the darkness for the light.  This pause breaks the incessant thought stream and allows for clearer perception.  Practice is needed as this habit has been a long time in the making, but a glimmer of light can be seen so that I will continue.

In retirement, I will work towards turning the lights on in the darkness, honing my awareness of self-made suffering, and choosing joy over pain.